It makes sense to me when someone says they went to the gym for 30 minutes between appointments. I admire the woman who can work two loads of laundry in between fixing dinner and a bed time story. I am not one of those. My life isn't organized enough to fit things in between other things. That requires planning, forethought or at least a strategy. I got none of those.
What I do manage to plan and work in though is food. And this is not a positive thing. Take today. I had a powerbar for breakfast around 7 am and then I started a day of back to back meetings, nine in total. I had a thirty minute break around 11. I wasn't really hungry, but I thought this would probably be my only opportunity to eat. Hungry or not, this girl was not about to miss a meal. I wouldn't be done till 4 so I had to eat. Not just a bit of my turkey and Swiss sandwich but the whole thing. Not so bad, just turkey and Swiss could have been worse.
Graduate classes started tonight. And because of poor planning on my part I didn't realize I was near Whole Foods, or that I needed to go there, last night until I passed the exit and it would have been a pain to turn around. So in the three hours between work and class, I headed to Whole Foods. And then, of course, I ended up in the wrong lane and missed my exit. The worse part is I changed lanes four times trying to figure it out and still missed it. (Some days I probably shouldn't even drive).
I got what I needed -- coconut oil. Of course, I wanted two jars, but realized when I got to the check out that I had picked up the tester for one. So I left Whole Foods with exactly one jar of coconut oil. And then my car wouldn't shift out of park. But the amazing part of this story is that the whole time I was plotting how I was going to work in dinner. I wasn't the least bit hungry, but was so afraid I was going to miss a meal that the comedy of errors that is my life was secondary.
By the time I get close to my class, I still have an hour and a half to waste. My goal for this week was (and still is) to stop eating fast food. So with that in mind I went to Walgreens to buy a notebook. And walked out with a notebook and chocolate cover peanuts. Ate the whole bag in the parking lot and thought what can I eat for my real dinner. Not fast food, I had made a commitment. My mind floated to taquitos from Quik Trip. That is when I almost had to laugh out loud at the insanity of avoiding fast food by eating a half of pound of chocolate cover peanuts and two taquitos from a convenience store. Instead of laughing, I drove through Arby's.
Not exactly a success, but this is my relationship with food. This week's goal is no fast food. Obviously today is a lost cause but that doesn't mean I give up on the whole week. Previous goals are going well. I haven't had a soda, not even a drop. My daughter's playroom is not organized yet, but I have made serious progress. This blog should probably be called The Slow Road to Health. Guess it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as I get there.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
A Taste of Success
Last week's goal of no soda actually wasn't as difficult as I thought. I have not had a drop and I haven't really craved it. I didn't get on a scale to see if I had lost any weight, but I am certainly less bloated. I haven't noticed a difference in my energy level. Usually, being off soda means I am less tired, but I also haven't been getting a solid seven hours of sleep.
Now on to this week... I will continue with the no soda and I am going to focus on something that I think will alleviate a little stress and probably some guilt too. My focus for this week is to clean out and organize my daughter's playroom, which in theory also serves as an office. Why this? Its the first room you come to when you enter our house. Its a formal living room, but we aren't really formal and my daughter is a bit spoiled (translation: we have way too many toys), so its a playroom. By the end of the week, it will be purged and everything left will have a place. Wish me luck.
Now on to this week... I will continue with the no soda and I am going to focus on something that I think will alleviate a little stress and probably some guilt too. My focus for this week is to clean out and organize my daughter's playroom, which in theory also serves as an office. Why this? Its the first room you come to when you enter our house. Its a formal living room, but we aren't really formal and my daughter is a bit spoiled (translation: we have way too many toys), so its a playroom. By the end of the week, it will be purged and everything left will have a place. Wish me luck.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Epic Fail
It has been more than three weeks since I posted, so that in and of itself should explain the title of this post. July was a mess, to put it mildly. I am no healthier than I was June 1st. Actually I think I am actually less healthy. Stress took over and I lost all focus.
But I am ready to get back on the horse and have revamped how I want to structure my goals a little. I am still not entirely sure how I am going to manage the stress, particularly work stress, but I am ready to give this health thing another try. The bad news is I gained back the weight I had lost in June. The good news is I didn't gain any additional weight, which is nearly a miracle.
I am the type of person who lives well with structure and rules. So I can't just wing it and say I am going to be healthier and I will figure it out as I go. So I am going to set one goal (or rule) each week and I will post every Sunday to tell you how it went. I guess I am declaring a do over.
This week's goal is no soda. NONE. I haven't gone back to the full amount I was drinking before, but I am headed in that direction. So it is time to go cold turkey. No more soda. Just yesterday I read another article about it increasing the risk of heart attack and stroke. And it has no upside at all. So good bye soda.
I would love to hear ideas of what other weekly goals I should adopt. Each goal will be focused on for a week but then hopefully incorporated into my life after that and become habit. But for now I will just be thankful that I haven't yet gave up and am still moving forward.
But I am ready to get back on the horse and have revamped how I want to structure my goals a little. I am still not entirely sure how I am going to manage the stress, particularly work stress, but I am ready to give this health thing another try. The bad news is I gained back the weight I had lost in June. The good news is I didn't gain any additional weight, which is nearly a miracle.
I am the type of person who lives well with structure and rules. So I can't just wing it and say I am going to be healthier and I will figure it out as I go. So I am going to set one goal (or rule) each week and I will post every Sunday to tell you how it went. I guess I am declaring a do over.
This week's goal is no soda. NONE. I haven't gone back to the full amount I was drinking before, but I am headed in that direction. So it is time to go cold turkey. No more soda. Just yesterday I read another article about it increasing the risk of heart attack and stroke. And it has no upside at all. So good bye soda.
I would love to hear ideas of what other weekly goals I should adopt. Each goal will be focused on for a week but then hopefully incorporated into my life after that and become habit. But for now I will just be thankful that I haven't yet gave up and am still moving forward.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Let's Talk About...... STRESS!!!!!
The healthiest year of my life has been sabotaged. Wait, did I mention that this post is probably going to do a little wallowing sprinkled with self pity followed by a small does of woe is me? Okay then, the healthiest year of my life has been sabotaged... by stress.
I deal with stress in three ways: 1.) I drink really unbelievable amounts of Diet Pepsi. Except wait I gave that up. Well sort of, I did have a small Diet Coke yesterday. Only one and it was small. It was so good, it almost brought tears to my eyes. 2.) I gamble. That takes a little more effort and a lot more money. or 3.) I eat. And when I say I eat I mean anything and everything.
This time though I didn't eat everything in sight. This time I was so stressed that I began searching out the really good foods I tell myself I miss so much. In truth, I don't think I really miss them and after eating them I always feel pretty lousy. So why oh why do I keep taking the ice cream out of the freezer?
I admire those people who deal with stress by running 5 miles. I want to be them. However, when you are overweight and don't exercise regularly, you don't just strap on your shoes and run your stress off. No, you go straight to the Sonic Drive-Thru and order mozzarella sticks. Then within a couple of hours you are bloated and sleepy and kicking yourself in your still ample rear.
This has been going on for about a week and while I am still kicking myself in the rear, I must not be doing it very forcefully because it is still going on. I really thought I would start this project and just will myself to be healthy. Much in the same way I willed my self to stop biting my nails. That didn't work out so well either.
My relationship with crappy food and diet soda is not unlike a relationship with they guy you know is bad for you but you keep hooking up with anyway. It is so enjoyable in the moment, but the effects are lingering and aren't worth even a taste. Eventually, you see the light and dial your phone no more. But usually, you backslide a time or two first.
So tomorrow, I start again. Hopefully, I get back on track quickly, but no matter what I keep trying. And somewhere along the way, I might even find some willpower.
I deal with stress in three ways: 1.) I drink really unbelievable amounts of Diet Pepsi. Except wait I gave that up. Well sort of, I did have a small Diet Coke yesterday. Only one and it was small. It was so good, it almost brought tears to my eyes. 2.) I gamble. That takes a little more effort and a lot more money. or 3.) I eat. And when I say I eat I mean anything and everything.
This time though I didn't eat everything in sight. This time I was so stressed that I began searching out the really good foods I tell myself I miss so much. In truth, I don't think I really miss them and after eating them I always feel pretty lousy. So why oh why do I keep taking the ice cream out of the freezer?
I admire those people who deal with stress by running 5 miles. I want to be them. However, when you are overweight and don't exercise regularly, you don't just strap on your shoes and run your stress off. No, you go straight to the Sonic Drive-Thru and order mozzarella sticks. Then within a couple of hours you are bloated and sleepy and kicking yourself in your still ample rear.
This has been going on for about a week and while I am still kicking myself in the rear, I must not be doing it very forcefully because it is still going on. I really thought I would start this project and just will myself to be healthy. Much in the same way I willed my self to stop biting my nails. That didn't work out so well either.
My relationship with crappy food and diet soda is not unlike a relationship with they guy you know is bad for you but you keep hooking up with anyway. It is so enjoyable in the moment, but the effects are lingering and aren't worth even a taste. Eventually, you see the light and dial your phone no more. But usually, you backslide a time or two first.
So tomorrow, I start again. Hopefully, I get back on track quickly, but no matter what I keep trying. And somewhere along the way, I might even find some willpower.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
One Month Down, Eleven to Go
One month has past since I started this blog. The biggest change is that I no longer drink soda. Cutting back one hour earlier each day really worked for me. And to be honest, I don't really miss it... unless I am stressed. (More on that later.) I have replaced it with ice tea and water. I have always loved iced tea. However, I am what I call "ice tea picky" and often I find ice tea undrinkable.
My three goals for the first month were to get at least 7 hours of sleep. I have been pretty consistent in this. And while I think I am still more tired than I should be, I do feel better than I do when I sleep less. Second, I was going to be more conscious about my eating. I have really thought about what I am putting into my body and am making better choices. I am down 4 pounds for the month. Given that I haven't really focused on anything more specific in my diet I assume that this is all a loss from not drinking soda. However, it is enough to encourage me and keep me going. The final goal was to exercise every other day. Other than a few walks around the block (its a pretty big block) with my daughter, this is a complete fail. I really need to get to this. I think it would make a real difference on many fronts.
So as I enter month two, I will continue the intentional eating and try to exercise more. But the focus of month two is going to focus on one of the things that cause me a great deal of stress... clutter. This may not seem to be about health, but believe me this is a huge source of stress. I have six items I want to focus on:
1.) I will consider every item I own and ask myself what it adds to my life. I will dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to this task. No more keeping items out of guilt, obligation or just because.
2.) I will create and implement a cleaning routine. The implement part is important. I am a planner. But I often go through the planning stage and never implement, or half implement. Not this time. I will find something that works for me.
3.) I will do a load of laundry every night. Wash, dry, fold AND put away.
4.) I will clear my desk at work before leaving for the weekend.
5.) I will pick up every night before I go to bed.
6.) I will begin teaching my daughter to pick up after herself and not do it for her just because its quicker.
I also will try and write on this blog more frequently. But for now, I must get my 7 hours in. :)
My three goals for the first month were to get at least 7 hours of sleep. I have been pretty consistent in this. And while I think I am still more tired than I should be, I do feel better than I do when I sleep less. Second, I was going to be more conscious about my eating. I have really thought about what I am putting into my body and am making better choices. I am down 4 pounds for the month. Given that I haven't really focused on anything more specific in my diet I assume that this is all a loss from not drinking soda. However, it is enough to encourage me and keep me going. The final goal was to exercise every other day. Other than a few walks around the block (its a pretty big block) with my daughter, this is a complete fail. I really need to get to this. I think it would make a real difference on many fronts.
So as I enter month two, I will continue the intentional eating and try to exercise more. But the focus of month two is going to focus on one of the things that cause me a great deal of stress... clutter. This may not seem to be about health, but believe me this is a huge source of stress. I have six items I want to focus on:
1.) I will consider every item I own and ask myself what it adds to my life. I will dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to this task. No more keeping items out of guilt, obligation or just because.
2.) I will create and implement a cleaning routine. The implement part is important. I am a planner. But I often go through the planning stage and never implement, or half implement. Not this time. I will find something that works for me.
3.) I will do a load of laundry every night. Wash, dry, fold AND put away.
4.) I will clear my desk at work before leaving for the weekend.
5.) I will pick up every night before I go to bed.
6.) I will begin teaching my daughter to pick up after herself and not do it for her just because its quicker.
I also will try and write on this blog more frequently. But for now, I must get my 7 hours in. :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Addictions, Compulsions and Habits
I sat down tonight to write about my odd addiction. But then I actually looked up the word addiction. According, to Merriam-Webster an addiction involves a substance (doesn't apply to mine) and withdrawal. Since, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have a physical reaction if I stopped cold turkey, I need to drill back the drama and stop thinking of this as an addiction.
Which brings me to the my odd compulsion. A compulsion according to Mr. Merriam (or Mr. Webster) is "an irresistible impulse to perform an act." Now given that I have resisted on a few, albeit not enough, instances, this must not be a compulsion either.
So I am left with an odd habit, or "an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary." But the word habit doesn't pack the same punch as addiction or compulsion. Quite honestly, it now seems like something I should just take control of and get over and that all that can probably be conquered without psychiatric help. So much for the interesting component.
Regardless, what I am talking about is my love of the drive-thru. Its not fast food that I love. It is the drive-thru. Since I began the healthiest year of my life, I have only had typical fast food once. (I say typical because I am not counting Subway here or multiple Diet Cokes from Sonic.) There is something about the convenience of a drive-thru that keeps me coming back for more.
I thought once I stopped eating fast food, my drive-thru days would be over. But I started driving through multiple times a day for soda, even though QT is cheaper and more reliable. Now that I am down to one soda a day and soon will not be drinking it at all, I was positive my drive-thru days would be limited to the bank. So why am I currently evaluating the ice tea of all drive-thrus in a 20 mile radius? Because apparently, I am addicted, oops I mean, have a drive-thru habit.
So now what? "I am Debi and I have a drive-thru habit." I can admit its a problem. But where do I go from here? If you are saying to yourself "Just stay the hell out of the drive-thru," I have said that many a times, but I always end up back, usually with a new justification.
So I am saying it again, the 10,327th time is a charm, right? "Just stay the hell out of the drive-thru." I probably need to come up with some reward to keep me focused, but the only one that comes to mind right now is a big Diet Pepsi and that kind of defeats the point.
Which brings me to the my odd compulsion. A compulsion according to Mr. Merriam (or Mr. Webster) is "an irresistible impulse to perform an act." Now given that I have resisted on a few, albeit not enough, instances, this must not be a compulsion either.
So I am left with an odd habit, or "an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary." But the word habit doesn't pack the same punch as addiction or compulsion. Quite honestly, it now seems like something I should just take control of and get over and that all that can probably be conquered without psychiatric help. So much for the interesting component.
Regardless, what I am talking about is my love of the drive-thru. Its not fast food that I love. It is the drive-thru. Since I began the healthiest year of my life, I have only had typical fast food once. (I say typical because I am not counting Subway here or multiple Diet Cokes from Sonic.) There is something about the convenience of a drive-thru that keeps me coming back for more.
I thought once I stopped eating fast food, my drive-thru days would be over. But I started driving through multiple times a day for soda, even though QT is cheaper and more reliable. Now that I am down to one soda a day and soon will not be drinking it at all, I was positive my drive-thru days would be limited to the bank. So why am I currently evaluating the ice tea of all drive-thrus in a 20 mile radius? Because apparently, I am addicted, oops I mean, have a drive-thru habit.
So now what? "I am Debi and I have a drive-thru habit." I can admit its a problem. But where do I go from here? If you are saying to yourself "Just stay the hell out of the drive-thru," I have said that many a times, but I always end up back, usually with a new justification.
So I am saying it again, the 10,327th time is a charm, right? "Just stay the hell out of the drive-thru." I probably need to come up with some reward to keep me focused, but the only one that comes to mind right now is a big Diet Pepsi and that kind of defeats the point.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Challenge That Is Vacation
I spent the last four days out of town with my daughter, my parents and my sister's family. Why is it so hard to stay in a healthy state of mind for no other reason than you uttered the word vacation? Does being on vacation and not answering to your usual responsibilities really mean that you have none? No. I still had responsibilities, namely my daughter, but also responsibilities to myself to not abandon my goals.
Food was a challenge. It always is for me. You don't overcome 40 years of bad food habits just because you started a blog and spoke the words "healthiet year of my life." I think I did okay. I didn't deprive myself of anything, but I did consciously make my food decisions. Some of those decisions limited me to a single trip to the breakfast buffet and a healthy helping of oatmeal and others included homemade chips and fried pickles.
I am reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, which I am really enjoying. One of the points she makes is that you should frame the changes you want to make in the positive. And I have been thinking a great deal about this and trying to implement this where it makes sense. So when ordering room service at 8 pm I didn't say "I can't have the sandwich because it comes with fries." Instead, I thought, I really want to have energy and sleep well tonight so I should have a salad not the chicken sandwich. I finished the salad and didn't feel stuffed to the gills and felt pretty good about the decision I had made. No guilt here. Similarly, when I had the homemade chips and fried pickles, I decided that I really wanted them and knew I would have a lighter dinner because of the choice I was making.
On the soda front, I stuck to the plan... nearly. Each night we were away I ordered a pitcher of iced tea from room service. This kept the soda obsession at bay. But last night after we saw Noah the Musical it was too late for room service. So I did get a soda from Sonic. And tonight as we came home, it was after my 2 pm no soda deadline. I knew I didn't have any tea at home and I can't stand the taste of tap water so again I had a Sonic soda. I didn't order the Route 44 I usually would have, but instead a 32 ounce. Now that may not sound like much of a sacrifice, but for me its a pretty big distinction.
I am still not exercising. I know I need to make time for this, especially as the rest of this month is going to get pretty stressful work wise.
I did pretty well at getting the required 7 hours of sleep. However, while I do feel better rested, I am still tired much of the time. I think I am someone who requires more like 8 or 9 hours of sleep for optimal rest. But right now 7 is as good as it gets.
So the scale will show tomorrow how much damage was done by vacation. I am hoping not to much, but I do expect some gain. But regardless of what the scale says I am not giving up making this the healthiest year of my life.
I want to start small weekly goals tomorrow. Anyone have a suggestion of what it should be?
Food was a challenge. It always is for me. You don't overcome 40 years of bad food habits just because you started a blog and spoke the words "healthiet year of my life." I think I did okay. I didn't deprive myself of anything, but I did consciously make my food decisions. Some of those decisions limited me to a single trip to the breakfast buffet and a healthy helping of oatmeal and others included homemade chips and fried pickles.
I am reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, which I am really enjoying. One of the points she makes is that you should frame the changes you want to make in the positive. And I have been thinking a great deal about this and trying to implement this where it makes sense. So when ordering room service at 8 pm I didn't say "I can't have the sandwich because it comes with fries." Instead, I thought, I really want to have energy and sleep well tonight so I should have a salad not the chicken sandwich. I finished the salad and didn't feel stuffed to the gills and felt pretty good about the decision I had made. No guilt here. Similarly, when I had the homemade chips and fried pickles, I decided that I really wanted them and knew I would have a lighter dinner because of the choice I was making.
On the soda front, I stuck to the plan... nearly. Each night we were away I ordered a pitcher of iced tea from room service. This kept the soda obsession at bay. But last night after we saw Noah the Musical it was too late for room service. So I did get a soda from Sonic. And tonight as we came home, it was after my 2 pm no soda deadline. I knew I didn't have any tea at home and I can't stand the taste of tap water so again I had a Sonic soda. I didn't order the Route 44 I usually would have, but instead a 32 ounce. Now that may not sound like much of a sacrifice, but for me its a pretty big distinction.
I am still not exercising. I know I need to make time for this, especially as the rest of this month is going to get pretty stressful work wise.
I did pretty well at getting the required 7 hours of sleep. However, while I do feel better rested, I am still tired much of the time. I think I am someone who requires more like 8 or 9 hours of sleep for optimal rest. But right now 7 is as good as it gets.
So the scale will show tomorrow how much damage was done by vacation. I am hoping not to much, but I do expect some gain. But regardless of what the scale says I am not giving up making this the healthiest year of my life.
I want to start small weekly goals tomorrow. Anyone have a suggestion of what it should be?
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